ON THE BLOG -- HOW I KNEW I WAS MARRYING THE WRONG MAN.

You know that moment when he gets down on one knee, and you've been dreaming of saying "yes" your whole life, but you also feel so nervous...? Yeah, I've been there and done that. You’re so excited and filled with love because you never really thought you deserved that person in your life or their amazing characteristics. And then you start talking about what the rest of your life looks like, and maybe you realize that there is some compromising you must do. Thinking its natural and normal you forget some of the things you compromised as things you once needed. Yeah, I was there too. 

My freshman semester at BYU-Idaho I met a man that I thought was amazing. He was different than everyone else I had dated. He was mysterious and distant, but trusting and open. It honestly was the best honeymoon phase I had ever been in. The little moments were hard, and day to day it was horrible. It was filled with aggravation, arguments, and degrading talk. But, because we were engaged I thought that it was something I could deal with. The stress and angry behavior would all end "when we're married" and as the time went on I realized that I shouldn't be okay with the behavior. I was inside the temple one day doing service for deceased family members when a clear voice said to me " you're going to marry the wrong man.", being alone I thought it was something I was just thinking. I couldn't be marrying the wrong person, I was already engaged, and the deal was done. But, unhappiness wasn't what I wanted for the rest of my life. Habits didn't change a distance made it between us. We kept having pointless arguments and after a week of silence and lots of thought, things ended. They had to end. 

While it was something I wasn't keen on being the person that "wasn't engaged anymore" or seen as defective. I didn't want to ruin my own reputation because I felt I couldn't marry that person. I saw the looks given to people in my ward at home that came home no longer engaged and I didn't think that could ever be me. But, now I was proudly wearing the courageous tag of "once engaged, but currently engaged in courageous acts." 

I used to think those people had a problem with them, maybe a character flaw, or were broken. Now I know that sometimes it’s just not right. I know that behind the excitement and the honeymoon phase there is sometimes empty promises, open disregard, and feelings of lust. But I also know that it doesn't have to be the end. There is always something around the corner for each of us. I know that when the door of possibility is closed in front of us, there is always another just waiting to be opened. I know that when you think you've hit the lowest you could go, someone will be there to make your burden light, to lift you up, and someone to heal all the scars left behind by those in the past. 

Two months later I was similarly helping a friend out of a breakup, a nasty relationship brought to a sudden end. the things I had learned from that friend not even two months earlier were the things he needed to hear that very night. We may have only talked for about 2 hours that night, but we haven't stopped talking yet. We talk for hours on end daily. To the outside eye we were both broken and needed to be alone to "discover ourselves". But, I think together we are fixing ourselves, discovering who we are, and falling in love. 

Now I want you to know that this says nothing about each of your relationships. But, know that happiness truly is the most important thing in your relationship. You'll have moments of sadness, anger, and disagreements, but most of your relationship should be happiness. giggles, and good times. There is always help if you're in need.

- Nys to be a Saint