Nys to be a Saint

October has been a crazy month! As you can see since I was the most awful blogger! ( I never promised to be good at this.) But, it was a big month for the blog! We reached over 1000 active readers! And you guys loved the article about marrying the wrong man! I will for sure include more about those kinds of experiences. But, October was filled with lots of time in the car! First it started with the drive to and from General Conference ( of the church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day saints) in Salt Lake City, Utah. We had so much fun going to conference and spending time in the Boise area for a few days seeing Matthew and his family. I’ll put a few pictures below... But, there is plenty more on Instagram!   Second! Both of the Brianna’s cut all their hair off! ( Well not ALL of it, but you get the picture.) They both decided not to donate the hair as it was too damaged and brittle to donate.  Third! We made it to the pumpkin patch so many times! We have been living in the mom...

 I know that the phrase "don't worry, be happy." can make many of us feel the complete opposite. In honor of National Mental Health month I thought I might address some of these things. I would never lie and tell people that I don't struggle with being happy. I am a person that knows the feeling of content very well. And for a long time I thought that not being sad equated to being happy. And somehow, to an extent that's not wrong. But, its also not right. The dictionary describes "Happy" as, feeling or showing pleasure or contentment, having a sense of confidence in or satisfaction with, satisfied with the quality or standard of, willing to do something, fortunate or convenient.  And while to many that would seem like the classic definition of happiness, that actually just sounds like settling for something almost alright. I want that happiness you see in mothers that just pushed out a baby, the happiness you see on a brides face as she walks dow...

As I thought about what to write this weeks blog post on I was thinking about "happy" posts I could do. Something lighthearted and almost pointless, but I kept coming back to last weeks post. All of you loved " How I knew I was marrying the wrong man." But, I realized that I kinda left all of you hanging. I made it seem as though after I realized he wasn't right for me and things ended that everything was okay. And that is a bold faced lie. There was nothing okay about me. I layed in my apartment for two whole weeks just crying about how cheated I felt. Just hours after we broke things off I went for a walk. I walked for what felt like forever in the silent snow in Rexburg, Idaho. And once I felt kinda better, I kept walking I cried and kept crying and just kept crying. I felt so cheated, used, abused, and stupid. I had convinced myself that fighting was normal, a one sided love was normal, and only being wanted because of your "hot butt" was norma...

I love night swimming with my girls. Its the perfect way to kick off fall and say goodbye to summer. And I love having those wonderful girls by my side.

The thought goes through my mind often when I stand in the mirror thinking about other people. Why am I not as skinny, pretty, fit, athletic, smart, studious, etc. as you? Why couldn't Heavenly Father bless me with similar qualities as you? Had I been punished because I had sinned differently or more intensely than you? Was I withheld talents because I missed an opportunity to gain it? But, maybe I wasn't perfect enough to be given that blessing. ALL OF THOSE THOUGHTS ARE VALID TO HAVE, BUT NONE OF THEM ARE TRUE. Your heavenly father loves you dearly and wants you to be happy and healthy in all ways. He's not withholding blessings from you because he doesn't love you. You’re withholding blessings from yourself because you don't love yourself the way he loves you. As many of you reading have done, I have stood in the mirror pinching, tucking, playing with my clothes, fixing my makeup to appear perfect on the outside, when I am falling apart on t...

  I am so grateful for the wonderful people I have in my life that show me what true discipleship is. I am so lucky to have had Zac as my life long friend and to see him go on his full time mission for the church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints in the area of Layton Utah! See you in two years bud!